The Top Five Strangest Spa Treatments

Caviar, Chocolate, Tea and Beer Hops

Beauty treatments seem to use up everything in the above average kitchen, including green and white tea, newspapers (The Aqua Vitae Spa in New York City offers a “Page Six Facial!”) Dead Sea salt, chocolate and beer in addition to “scrubs” using Bikini Sugar, cous-cous, sesame, ginger and sugar maple leaf.

Question: how did everybody get so dirty? And doesn’t scrubbing with soap and hot water work any more?

Anyhow, we’ve surveyed the offerings used in some day spas and medispas and found the following:

5th Strangest Spa Treatment: Beer pedicure

The Exsalonce Spa in Chicago says it will revitalize your tired dogs and even “work wonders” on calluses. Seems like a real strain on a vital and complicated system of supply at time when huge supplies of beer are urgently needed during the very height of football season.



4th Oddest Spa Treatment: Egyptian Mud

The MiSpa in Chicago imports mud from Egypt, presumably from the Nile River, and slathers it all over their clients’ bodies in the name of health. Meanwhile, Egyptians are laughing up their sleeves because the Nile has always been used for a sewer and they were stumped on how to get rid of the polluted mud until somebody offered to buy it.
Meanwhile, in Calistoga, Califonria, Mud Mujita is said to relieve the rigors or jet lag at Spa Solage’s mud bar.



3rd Most Off-The-Wall Spa Treatment: Chocolate Manicure

Offered by the DeFranco Spagnolo Salon in Great Neck, N.Y., the chocolate manicure is for when you are feeling like something sweet but you don’t want it to melt in your hand. Instead, it just melts all over your fingernails.



2nd Most Unusual Spa Treatment: Sweet Cheeks Derriere Facial.

The Detroit-area Euphoria Spa gives your other cheeks -- the ones you sit on -- exfoliation, then applies a masque, waxing and wraps it up with a warm paraffin treatment. Questions: After all that trouble and expense, do you really want to sit on it? And hide it? The YOUnique Medical Spa in Santa Monica, California, refers to this as “Booty Buffing,” which is a required process to -- and I quote -- “get your booty bikini and mini-dress ready.”



And the Number 1 Oddest Spa Treatment: Caviar Pedicure

Spa Newbury in Boston offers this tasty treat. Now, caviar probably will never replace more vital and substantial nutrition schemes like potato chips.

Nonetheless, some people like caviar on a cracker with lemon juice and some champagne. Or, you can do the next most obvious thing and just rub it all over your feet.

The spa’s owner seems to think caviar is somehow related to the skin on your feet and may nourish your tootsies. Or, perhaps there’s a cushioning effect while walking on caviar. It’s never worked for me because the little fish eggs always break, allowing gooey stuff to ooze out and totally mess up my socks.