Media Watch -- 36 DD for a Day

British reporter Clover Stroud, below left as she normally looks and while having the equivalent of a 36DD breast implant applied.



Stroud, a reporter for the Daily Mail in London, England, wondered about all the fuss over breast enhancements.

So a movie makeup artist applied the bosom of a woman who has 36 DD implants. Stroud then wore the getup for 24 hours and walked around London while noting the different ways men -- and other women -- responded to her.

Wrote Stroud about a range of odd reactions: “But what had inspired this frankly odd behavior from complete strangers? Quite simply, it was my pair of perfectly perky 36DD breasts.” Read more.

NEXT: Toe-besity: There’s a surgery for that!

Dox: Got Pain? Take a Computer Game!

If any surgical procedure, including cosmetic plastic surgery, has left you hurting, skip the anti-pain drugs and try a video game instead.

Researchers at the University of Barcelona in Spain are using computer games and virtual reality helmets to measure how much high tech gizmos can reduce pain. So far, researchers have found the technique reduces the need for sedatives. Video games seem to work because you can only pay so much attention to any one thing; the games or virtual reality helmets distract your brain from your pain by more fully involving your other senses. More.

The Spanish are not alone in trying e-cures.

Researchers at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada, have done experiments that show patients who are distracted in a virtual reality world like a 3-D skiing adventure, report less pain than others using drug-based pain therapy. More.

But it’s not so bad when you consider that surgical pain is just weakness leaving the body.

Physicians can read about it here: Article: Wismeijer, AAJ; Vingerhoets, AJJM, "The use of virtual reality and audiovisual eyeglass systems as adjunct analgesic techniques: A review of the literature", Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 30 (3): 268-278 DEC 2005

Chewing Gum Makes Breasts Grow?

The most excellent blog, Truth in Cosmetic Surgery, written by John Di Saia, M.D, a board certified plastic surgeon in San Clemente, California,
found a hilarious commercial for a type of chewing gum known as “Boobie Chew.”

Take a look: http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Viral_Videos/Bizarre/Boobie_Chew/

The video seems to date from the 1980s; nobody is sure if it ever actually aired because its medical claims never got assigned to the precise category in science known as “believable.”

Nonetheless, you can still find chewing gum that purports to increase breast size. For instance, in Japan B2UP (short for “Bust Up Gum”) is a big seller.

The magic B2UP ingredient? Extracts from the Kwao Krua plant which is said to make breasts grow, improve shape and tone. Hey, what’s this? Breasts now have tone? Well, maybe a G would be all right with most people but I imagine a B flat would be a big fizzle. Read more.

Also available for the chewing gum and bosom-challenged public are Zoft Breast Gum (Contains Phytoestrogens! Chew less! Grow More!) and Breast Success, among others.

Here’s an odd but related item about chewing gum:

While chewing gum really can make surgical incisions heal faster, the one thing it does not do is make breasts grow larger, says Dr. Si Saia.

The Chopstick Bra

Rarely do you see such an, ah, uplifting story.

Here’s the heart of it: Cut down fewer trees while creating more cleavage for all those who want it. It might even replace breast augmentation procedures.

As a nation, Japan throws away some 25 billion chopsticks yearly, causing large swaths of forest to be cut down.

And what’s the best way to stop that waste?

Why, silly, wearing a chopstick bra!

If you want to see the chopstick bra in action, check out this video: http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=70363&videoChannel=4


Lingerie maker Triumph Internal Japan developed the support garment so the wearer could insert several pair of reusable chopsticks into the bra’s underarm panels. See where this is headed?

Triumph didn’t explain it fully but additional chopsticks can be used against the bosom to create a more flattering décolletage.

But don’t be mislead by the woman posing for the above picture. One cup resembles a rice bowl and the other a soup bowl (Chopsticks for soup? I don’t get it either!) but it’s all a grab for media attention.

The production model bra will most likely be just ordinary cloth cups with plenty of chopstick pockets. So far, nothing special is in the works for guys who want to carry collapsible eating utensils. Maybe a longer shirt pocket?

By the way, Triumph is a fashion designer with an odd sense of style. Read more about their take on the top eight most bizarre bras.

And if you’re interested in new bustlines, here’s a more-or-less normal story about adjustable breast implants.

Top 8 Far-Out Uses for Breast Implants

The world is filled with the results of unintended consequences. Sure, you can use cat litter to provide traction on an icy sidewalk, but whoever thought so many unintended uses for breast implants would crop up? We present the top eight:

1. Book Title



To win a $100,000 bet, Brian Zembic stepped up when another gambler put up the cash against Brian keeping 38C breast implants in his chest for one year. (Tip for guys: Women were fascinated and not the least bit put off by the enhancement. Maybe having a beefy chest is not such a bad thing, after all? Maybe forget the gynecomastia surgery?) The outcome? Brian became $100,000 richer and then was featured in the book, Man with the $100,000 Breasts. More. Casting for the movie continues but, so far, every leading actor has turned the role down because none wants to be seen with a bustline.

2. Airbags



Perhaps inspired by a Bulgarian woman whose 40 DD breast implants served as airbags and saved her life in a car crash, Japanese technology company Takata, the world’s leading supplier of auto safety belts, used a giant double implant template and came up with an improved air bag for cars. More

3. Man Pacifier



A San Francisco blogger known only as donnauwanna noted her life partner seemed to consider her breasts a source of comfort. So the clever donnauwanna decided to take matters into her own hands and created a squishy breast shaped stress reliever, modeled after one of her own. (We are NOT making this up. Read more.) Her fondest hope? “Maybe now he’ll leave me alone so I can get important things done!” Anyhow, here’s how to make one. But you really must want to do this because you start with a plaster cast of one breast. However, if the lady love is (understandably!) unwilling to slather her torso with cold, clammy plaster mix and sit still, waiting four hours for it to dry, some wives just toss their mates a silicone breast implant. Why? Silicone is like the real deal.

Of course, all this could easily be nipped in the bud because a new scholarly study found breast feeding can make kids more resilient to stress. More.

4. Ebay Sale



Mary Carey, an adult film start who ran for governor of California in 2003, put her 36 D implants (removed only because she wanted 36 DDD implant replacements ) up for sale on Ebay. As of January 8th, bidding was at U.S. $316.00. More.

5. Solve Crimes

A British murder victim was missing her hands and head when police found the body. But the woman had breast and buttocks implants, both of which carry serial numbers. The numbers cracked the case. More. Similar I.D.-by-breast-implant cases have taken place in New York and in Georgia.

6. Get-out-of-Army pass.

“ACHTUNG!! Today, D Cups! Tomorrow, Triple D Cups!”


(Actually, the headline reads: “The German Army will not allow my bustline.”

A German female soldier, 24-year-old Alessija Dorfmann, must leave the Army because she has D-cup size silicone breast implants. A German Army spokesman, Harald Kammerbauer, explained there is an increased risk of injury. More.

“I chust vanted to be all I can be,” lamented Alessija.

The case is under review so Fraulein/PFC Dorfman may be able to become the army medic, she signed up for after all.

7. A Curvy Tattoo


Above, Lane’s right leg. He is editor of
a body art and tattoo magazine in Edmonton, Alberta.

Thinking that a 2-D tat was too tame, Canadian Lane Jensen
asked a tattoo artist and wannabe surgeon to open his leg and surgically
implant tiny breast implants in the anatomically correct position of a
buxom woman tattoo. (Note: Do not try this at home. While these people were
totally untrained professionals working in a dangerous environment, they were lucky!
Lane still has his leg which is a miracle in itself!) More (without the
breast-or-leg man quips!)

8. Body Armor


(Photo by mzacha)

A woman’s silicone breast implants stopped a piece of shrapnel “inches from her heart” after a rocket attack in Israel. “The implants saved her life,” said an attending physician.
More.

If you’re still interested in breast implants and how they are used by more-or-less “normal” people, read more about inserting breast implants through the belly button.

Next: Implants? Who needs ‘em anyhow? Chewing gum claims it can enhance breasts!

Human Fat-Powered Speedboat?

The vast majority of plastic surgeons don’t have a use for the fat they suck or melt from your body during liposuction.

Of course, a few noble souls are searching. Some even freeze patients’ fat in case some future discovery is made. A few surgeons move fat from one unwanted location of your body to another while research labs constantly look for medical uses.

Suddenly, a really practical thing comes along. Now, human fat can be used to power your speedboat! Why didn’t somebody think of this before? Will bass fishing ever be the same?


The Earthrace -- World’s
First Blubber Boat

In New Zealand, Pete Bethune, a former oil industry worker, created the Earthrace, a US$3 million dollar ship that will try to break the world’s speed record for zipping around the globe. The boat is powered by natural biofuels which usually combines recycled restaurant grease with some diesel fuel. Actually, Pete wants to promote biofuels more than snaring the world record.

To attract attention, Bethune and others underwent liposuction, collecting two gallons of fat that can drive the boat about nine miles.

Is that to say human blubber only gets four and one half miles per gallon? Well, it depends on what you’re driving and how fast you are going. At 23 tons, the Earthrace is a really big boat that goes really fat, er, that is, fast at a blazing 23 to 29 mph.

If all goes according to plan, the boat should take 75 days to race 32,000 miles around the world, thereby breaking the record by 10 days.

Unless they have to stop to take on more fat.

Top 10 Cosmetic Plastic Surgery Stories for 2007

1. Botox Injections at Home and Work
Beauty is now being delivered to your doorstep or office. Read more.

2. Birthmarks: Getting the Blemishes Removed
Millions of people are afflicted with marks they want removed. More.

3. NBC’s Biggest Loser
Losing 311 pounds is the way to grab this prize! More.

4. Plastic Surgeons Recall Volunteering on 9-11-2001
A 110-story building fell on one plastic surgeon volunteer . More.

5. Can Plastic Surgery Cure the Blues?
Everybody feels better when they look better. But some patients lose their depression after plastic surgery. More

6. Breast Enhancement -- via Fat Grafting
It’s big in Europe -- using your own fat to enhance breasts.
A New York City surgeon shows the way. More.

7. Eyelash Transplants
Skimpy eye winkers? Hate gloppy mascara?
Transplants might brighten your eyes. More

8. Botox & Restylane for 20-somethings
Cosmetic plastic surgery is no longer just for old-timers. More.

9. Repairing Tubular Breasts
Many small breasted women don’t know they have a deformity. For tubular breasts, the surgeon must do a breast enlargement, lift and reduction -- all at once. More.

10. SmartLipo
The new liposuction kid on the block melts fat with a needle-sized, laser-tipped wand. More.